ACT - Technique to help be Resilient
3 Steps to Make Your World & Our World Better!
The last few months and especially the last 2 weeks have been difficult. It has been scary, frustrating and filled with overwhelming sadness. No one likes to feel powerless. Many people have complained about having to quarantine and just want the pandemic to go away. The killing of George Floyd forced the entire world to face how brutal and lacking in humanity we, as a society, can be. How do we get through this?
Sometimes life is difficult. There aren’t easy answers. We feel frustrated, angry and scared but we don’t want to get stuck in these feelings. We can whine about it or we can find ways to make something good come out of any situation. We have a choice. As a stress management & resiliency coach, I have been thinking how can I help others during these trying times? I know that some people are more resilient than others. Some people make a difference more than others. What are some ways we can become more empowered? I am offering a series of blogs on skills and tools to become more resilient. I have found them helpful for me. I hope you will too.
ACT Formula
Years ago I read a book, Rapid Relief from Emotional Distress, by Gary Emery, PhD & James Campbell, M.D. We can’t control events or other people in our lives but we can choose our response. We are better able to make decisions and take action when we are not in emotional distress. I have found their ACT Formula helpful in my life when I recognize I don’t like the way I am feeling. The ACT Formula has 3 steps:
A – Choose to Accept Your Current Reality. Denial does not give you any personal power. For example, I accept that I am feeling emotional pain right now about George Floyd & my community. The 3rd precinct was the police precinct for my neighborhood. Since I don’t interact with the police, I didn’t realize how bad that particular precinct was. I have protested in the past. I have talked to legislators but not enough. I let the busyness of my own life, keep me from doing more. This saddens me.
Another example - People are having difficulty accepting we are in a pandemic. The pandemic will last 2 years. We need to accept this. I understand people are frustrated. They want to be social. They are lonely. They want to interact with more people other than their family. They are scared. They have lost their jobs or may lose their business. I too have lost income. We are in this together. We have a choice to care about each other or pretend this doesn’t really exist.
Acknowledge your feelings and feel them. First you need to recognize your feelings and not ignore them. Part of emotional intelligence is using our feelings as feedback to help us identify what we want to change & make a different choice about in our life. It is important to also accept the current reality. We are in a pandemic and we will continue to be in it for probably 2 years. Another reality, we live in a racist world. One we are not proud of and need to change.
C – Choose to Create your Vision. In terms of the pandemic, my vision right now is we open businesses and gather together responsibly. We continue to do this during the entire pandemic. In what ways can I get together with friends and family while still being socially responsible to not spread the disease? How can I, as a customer, show I care for other customers & workers when I go into a business? As a business owner, how can I take care of my employees and customers when I open my business?
My vision for Minneapolis, Minnesota, and the entire United States is that police protect & serve Every –body! Minnesota can be a model for change where everyone has access to good healthcare, affordable housing, education and training that leads to good jobs. We work to support and lift everyone up.
T – Choose to Take Action. Vision without taking action creates nothing. We can get upset, we can pray and have good intentions but nothing changes unless we take steps to create our vision. Each action step you take is something you can do.
My Actions to stay healthy & help others stay healthy during pandemic:
Offer an online class for free on How to Stay Healthy during Pandemic. Contact me for recording.
I will continue to wear a mask & gloves and keep socially distance when I go into stores & businesses.
I will limit the number of friends and family when we get together, so we can continue to socially distance when we are together.
Continue to eat foods, exercise, use essential oils. and practice stress management techniques to keep my immune system strong.
When pandemic is getting to me, I will remember my parents & grandparents had it worse during WWII, knowing I can do this. I will go bike. be in nature. or listen and dance to uplifting music to feel better.
Continue to write blogs to help others (I hope) reduce stress and build resiliency.
My steps to make a difference to help all people be safe and be uplifted in my community:
Calling on my community leaders to change the brutal practices of our police force and remove racist policeman and policies.
Writing and contacting my city’s mayor, commissioners, legislators and governor asking for a progress report at least quarterly on changes that are being made to not only change the police force, but how we provide more equitable healthcare, education, housing and economic opportunities.
Thank the police men and women who are standing up against their union and publicly apologizing and demanding change.
Stay the course. We have been a horribly racist country for 400 years. We cannot be complacent. It will take work. I’ll continue and continue and continue to pay attention and hold our leaders accountable in creating a society where all people are equal.
This is just a beginning. If you have ideas on ways ACT technique can help you. Please share.
Take Action Now. Grab a pen.
Where in your life are you having difficulty in accepting your current reality?
Write your vision down. What is the 1st step you can take? It doesn’t have to be big. Take it.
When you are done with the 1st step. What is the next? Take it. Rinse & repeat.