Talking to Your Body with Respect
Many people have a resolution to exercise. Often after a couple of months, they’ve stopped. Maybe, it becomes difficult because you are not listening to your body and not creating a plan that is enjoyable and right for you. Do you dread exercise? What if you talked differently to yourself?
I was a gymnast for 12 years. When I was on my college team I made Nationals. The workouts were intense. I lived 9 blocks from the gym. Sometimes it would take me an hour to walk home because I was so tired after a workout. I would walk a block and then need sit down awhile. We were taught to ignore pain.
This is not good training to enjoy a body that you will live in a long time. I can now tell weather changes in my joints. Most people are not serious athletes. They do not have to push their bodies to the limit.
This is a bad habit to get into because it not only affects your body but carries over into your life. We get lots of messaging to push our bodies rather than treat it gently and with respect. We are often dieting, exercising intensely, sleep deprived and are stressed out. We no longer listen to our body’s needs.
But what if we did? What if we looked at our body as our traveling partner in life? Our body is a partner with wisdom in its cells. It knows the things that are good for us if we listen to it.
I read an article years ago by Martha Beck about talking to your body like Monty Roberts, the horse whisperer, did to his horses. It makes a lot of sense. Your body and mind are more cooperative when we are working gently with it rather than pushing and beating it up. Here are some suggestions she had:
Become Aware: Recognize and challenge your attitudes you have inherited from your culture. Are you comparing yourself to “beautiful people” that have unrealistic body images? Do you buy into working to the detriment of having balance in your life?
What if we asked ourselves when exercising how can I make this fun and enjoyable rather than buy into the “no pain, no gain attitude?”
Behavioral scientists have found that animals and humans respond much more enthusiastically to praise and reward than to insult and punishment.
Discipline your mind to be a kinder, gentler trainer!
Acknowledge and praise every effort you make.
Make Your Mind Be Kind – For 1 day observe your thoughts and how you to talk to your body and yourself. “My legs are too big. Yuk, my upper arms are too flabby. My breasts are too small.” If we talked to our friends the way we talked to ourselves, we would have no friends. Instead, praise the abilities of those arms, legs and breasts. Your arms hug your children and loved ones. They are so coordinated they can thread a needle, knit or hold a racquet. Your legs can walk in nature and dance joyfully. Your breasts can feed your children and give you pleasure. Wow, they’re amazing!
Photo by Andrej Lišakov
This may seem absurd at first but do it anyway. Martha Beck learned at a chronic pain seminar that countering abuse with praise has a powerful effect on your body. The instructor asked her to focus on a part of her body that was continuously in pain and then offer those body parts the affection we would give the person we loved most. She found her muscle spasms in her back loosened perceptibly.
This strategy can improve your well-being and your body. It can replace body shame that darkens your life. Start sending love and appreciation to the body parts you don’t like.
“If praising your body feels awkward and artificial, too bad. Do it anyway.’ Martha Beck
Treasure Your Body – When we approach our body compassionately, the interplay between thoughts and physical condition becomes more noticeable. Beck says, “Your mind and body in harmony are like a horse and rider who really trust each other, communicating subtly and constantly, both benefiting from the relationship.”
We humans can be wary creatures. We tend to focus on fear and all the way things could go wrong. We are afraid of abandonment, fear of hurt, fear of never having enough money, success, etc. Succumbing to these fears makes us feel miserable. We focus on the negative.
Our minds can make us feel safe.
We can train it to make us calm down. She calls this treasuring.
Action: Make a list of experiences that made you feel peace, satisfaction, or bliss, then recall these experiences when your feel wiped out, overwhelmed, weak, stressed or old.
Writing these memories down anchors them into your brain. You can pull these out anytime you feel harried or negative. Your body will literally reexperience the good feelings and biochemical responses you had when the events happened! You can pull them up anytime you want!
Join Mind and Body – Psychologists who study human happiness have found that unity of mind and body occurs when we not only love our bodies but also challenge them. Your body wants adventure, effort and striving. You can connect with it by doing physical things that intrigue and challenge you such as learning martial arts, learning a new craft or playing an instrument. Find something your body loves to do and coax yourself to the edge of your physical ability. Find the sweet spot, somewhere between Too Easy and Way Too Hard. This is where your mind and body connect. Finding your sweet spot with exercise makes it challenging and enjoyable!
By practicing this you and your body become a team. You learn to stop when your body says no and embrace new experiences when it says yes, go for it! You go through life as partners respecting each other and more joyfully.
Right now, I need to talk to my low back in a loving way.